It seems lately that we can't turn on the news without hearing about another kid who has been bullied to such a degree that they can't see any options other than to take their own life. This is beyond tragic and we all need to do more.
Scroll to the bottom of this post to see an example of a provocative image that was used in a recent UK Bullying Campaign. I'm not always a fan of these approaches because they often stigmatize the bullied kids even more. In fact, a youth center I came to direct in the early 90's ran an ad similar to this one just before I took the job. During my interview, the kids in the program told me not to do it again. They wanted to define the issues on their terms. They didn't want only to be defined as victims. Either way, you should see the ad.
From Safe Youth: Almost 30% of youth in the United States (or over 5.7 million) are estimated to be involved in bullying as either a bully, a target of bullying, or both. In a recent national survey of students in grades 6-10, 13% reported bullying others, 11% reported being the target of bullies, and another 6% said that they bullied others and were bullied themselves.
From the website "Bullies in Books"
"The definition of bullying consists of these three parts:
• The behavior is intended to harm or disturb, or the individual targets feels harmed, disturbed or embarrassed.
• The behavior occurs repeatedly and over time. (It can’t just happen once.)
• There is an imbalance of power (power based on size, age, social status, wealth, intelligence, appearance, wardrobe, just to name a few examples).
The old stereotypical bullying event usually contained a big kid standing over a little kid saying, “Give me your lunch money” If we look at the above definition, it is easy to see that the behavior is intended to cause harm, the little kid would not get lunch and possibly be humiliated publicly, That alone would not make it bullying, but it usually happens several times a week, and the imbalance of power seen in the size difference between a big kid and a small kid is obvious.
Name-calling, the most common form of bullying in children and adults, can be heard on school playgrounds or in middle school and high school hallways or in the workplace. The words hurt and are heard often, and are usually delivered by a person with power over the target. Most people who are called names don’t tell anyone because they are embarrassed.
If two students who are friends have an argument that ends up in name-calling—that probably will not be bullying. They will resolve the conflict and continue the friendship. The words may have been intended to harm, but the event happened in one setting and between two equals.
Most people still believe the many myths about bullying.
The bully usually has a poor self-concept—MYTH.
The Elitist Bully or Social Climber Bully spends so much time thinking about him/herself, there isn’t any time left to think about others.
Bullying will make the targeted child stronger—MYTH.
Bullying can destroy lives. The word bullycide (also bullicide), being bullied to the point where killing oneself is the only perceived escape, has been added to our language. The web site www.bullyonline.org has a memorial page that lists children and teens that have lost their lives because of bullying.
New research on bullying tells us that this problem is not going away. Those of us who work with children of all ages need to educate ourselves. For far too long school staffs have been correctly accused of doing nothing. THAT IS NO LONGER AN OPTION. Start by reading a bully book with your class so that you can encourage a discussion before you have to discipline the problem. Keep a list of bully books available so when you hear a kid is having a problem you can share that book. Literature has always been a bridge, and bully books can help targeted students, confused bystanders and even active bullies cross to a healthier place."
[From bulliesinbooks.com]
Recent Stories
http://bullyinglte.wordpress.com/2009/04/13/middle-school-boy-suicide-from-effects-of-bullying/
http://bullyinglte.wordpress.com/2007/05/29/cyberbullying-ryan-halligans-story/
http://www.jaredstory.com/bully.html
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2009/07/01/pn.teen.bullicide.iain.steele.cnn